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Sometimes I feel the need to overflow with joy and the next minute to fall in a place of darkness and motionlessness. Waves take me from one score to the other, however they please. And I wonder… will it always be this way, once I am in this state.
It walks along my life path, like one, old friend. I sure know it long enough, but no such thing it is.
Somehow the only thing which puts an end to it, is the awareness of its appearance.
The consciousness of me, believing in its reality. That’s why I got it a name and for me it is the in-bewteen.
I know many people live with it and many don’t know.
So they try to distract themselves from it, which only makes it worse.
It lives in the shallow-waters of the world.
Thrives when your attention splinters in as many parts as you dare.
One for other people, one for your work, one for your family, one for your darkest dreams.
That is, when you find yourself caught in the in-betweeen.
Suddenly you don’t watch the play of the game, but getting played instead.
That does not mean you are weak, it does only mean you are not yourself.
And it knows, as it is not wise, but always smart enough.
There is as always a solution, like to all the other stuff.
In fact, every answer you want to know is already given inside.
It is the place of no places, because it is everywhere.
And no-one can come near it, that does not want to listen first.
It can not be understood, for it only can be felt.
Something, that is not from this world.
But like the sea watches the waves, it is not bound to them,
you watch the good and bad appear. You only watch the game.
Some part of me does know this, but still gets caught in the in-between.
And a voice in me keeps guiding, to not identify with it.
This is not undone with just one single try,
as I did feel this way, most part of my life.
So I need to be aware, every second that is new.
Never judge the sea, by high waves that come along.
Never doubt myself, when bad feelings don’t move on.
Let everything be felt, that wants to show itself.
And then feel in the quiet, they are not my truest self.
May the love be with you